I think I spent most of my day laughing

You know it's a good day when you are giggling and joyful. 

We all have that Christmas Cheer coming on. 

My girly was happily making a giant construction paper Christmas Tree on the side of the fridge today, and decorating it with Construction paper ornaments.  She was so happy.  In fact, I began to notice that as she bounced from the dining room table to the fridge, she was clucking like a chicken!  I am not sure if that is a sign of joy or not but it seemed like happiness from where I stood.  I told her if the ornaments started looking like eggs, I would know we were in trouble.

Shorty-pants' first words to me this morning were:  Mom, you know what I was thinking?  It's good that if Obi Wan dies, they can just make an Obi-Two.  I can't tell you how relieved I was at this discovery.  I hated to point out to him that Obi Wan DID die...and no Obi Two seems forthcoming.  You know...that's just how it goes with intergalactic incarnations.

As for my Big guy, lately, whenever he walks in the door after even a short absence, he calls out, "Hey Mom!  The most important one of your life is here!"  or "Your Favorite Son is back!!!"  It makes me just giggle!  He is so cute when he's all 14 and stuff.

Being a mom is a great adventure.  And is most definitely amusing.

Just Beautiful

I am really excited to share some of my notes from Time Out for Women.  I feel so blessed to have been in SLC for this event.  It seems contradictory, but I felt both invisible and 100% a part of the crowd.

I have just begun to notice this.  I will explain. 

I felt invisible because I was just one out of 5,000 women.  My story was similar to the other womens stories, I was not more beautiful or smarter or richer or anything-er than anyone else.  I did not stick out in any way.  I tend not to.  I prefer not to :)  (In fact, I prefer to avoid crowds at all cost)

But in a crowd, how can you feel invisible while belonging?  When the mass of humans surrounding you hold similar beliefs, when you can turn to a perfect stranger and find that you have much in common, when you see in another's eyes a shared recognition of truth,  you know you belong.  When a speaker asks everyone to stand and recite the Young Women's theme, and you are surrounded by 5,000 instant sisters, you know you belong.  When you share a love for something you belong.

I know that for most women of faith, this is not news.  Most women of faith were raised in that faith, and have known little else.  I envy that.  But I know that my Maker knows that wouldn't work for me, so He patiently watched as I made choices that would swing me wide of the ultimate goal, knowing that I would ultimately stick close to His plan.

I love to belong with sisters in faith.  I love to feel that feeling of belonging!  I love to laugh and cry and learn anonymously-belonging in a congregation of my peers.

So the theme for Time out for Women was Choose to Become.  I love that.  I love that they are encouraging women to Choose.  And to Become.  Women, for several generations, have chosen other paths, I believe.  To our detriment.  It is up to us to Become what we have been prepared to be. 

Well, the 5K of us were surprised by a last minute speaker.  One speaker had to cancel, and the organizers of the event scrambled to find someone worthy to replace her.  The speaker who filled in last minute was one who I have admired very much for over a year now.  (How can I fail to see the divine hand in that?)  When her name was announced, there was an audible shuffling as 5,000 women dug in their newly acquired Time Out for Women totes for a tissue.  We were instantly overcome by gratitude, and by the spirit.  We knew we would have the opportunity to feast on truth from one of God's elect daughters.

And we did.

You might have heard of Stephanie Nielson.  Here is her sweet blog:  http://nieniedialogues.com/

Her story has much tragedy, pain, suffering, sorrow, and so many, many lessons.  I encourage you to read the story of her plane accident if you are not familiar with it.  But I won't take time here to expound on it much.   She did tell us some details I had not heard before, about what her inner voices were saying as she realized she had a choice to live or die that day that the plane went down.  She counts her accident as divine because of her relationship with Heavenly Father.  After so much physical and emotional pain, that says volumes.

Here are the principles she wanted us to learn:

1)  It is up to you to decide how your story ends.  Remember who you are.  Choose Happiness over despair.  When you are having a rough day, remember what it feels like to be happy so you can seek it.

2)  Choose to remember your divine potential.  Remember who you are.  (That seems to be an important message, eh?)  She said that after her accident, it took her 5 months to be brave enough to look in a mirror.  When she finally did, it was very difficult to realize that what she saw was herself.  She said that the only thing she could recognize was her eyes, and she saw God there.  Truly the eyes are the window to the soul, and when you look into people's eyes, you can know their story.

3) Choose to be happy. 
It's o.k. to love yourself because then you have more to give.                                                   
                    You've earned your scars. 
                                               Everyone has pain and sorrow - so it doesn't do any good to compare.
                     You can overcome anything.
Heavenly Father knows us and loves us, and He has a plan for us.

4)  Choose now to make the relationships with those you love better.
                      In order to deal with hard times, it helps to have the knowledge that all is well with your loved ones and your testimony of the Savior.
           Don't waste time on guilt, insecurity, appearance, etc.  It takes unnecessary energy.

She said "It's an honor to be a mother.  I get to be the one to teach my children about the Plan of Salvation and about our Savior."  That is profound.  How often do we pause and truly think of our calling as a mother?  And yet...how important is our calling?  Another speaker, Sheri Dew, said "No one has more influence than a mother and a wife." And she counselled that when you are asked what you "do" your reply should be "I'm nurturing (x amount) of children along the path to exaltation.  How about you?"  So many mothers see motherhood as a burden, a chore. 

Stephanie now see's it as a privilege, as truly it is. 

Her suggestion to renew this view was to think about the small and simple things you do every day, like pack a lunch, braid your little girls hair, write a letter to someone you care about.  What if you couldn't ever do them again?  Believe that it is an honor to do those menial tasks.

Stephanie reminded us of the theme, Choose to Become and said that she wondered what she was supposed to become.  Then she realized that since her accident, she has been choosing to be......

herself.

"Because whatever Me is  -  is good enough." 

God thinks so.

So do I.

I am so grateful to Stephanie for having the courage to share the testimony that she has gained through this experience.



I love Thanksgiving week!

We have the opportunity to be with my family this year for Turkey day.  I am so excited to have my whole family together.  I mean, it shouldn't be asking much since i only have one brother...but it's a miracle that it worked out.  Thanks to my brother's Mother in Law, we will have a reunion.

My parents once told me a story about myself when I was  a toddler.  (Don't you love those little insights?)  We were walking along together, my mom holding one hand, my dad the other.  I was their only child at the time, and they were very young.  I was pretty small, and I brought their two hands together to touch in front of me.  I always think of that story, because it seems like that is just an instinct I have.  I want to bring people together.  I want everyone to get along and just love each other.

So, although I am not the one who brought us all together this time, I am certainly going to celebrate the fact that we will be.  I love my family so much.  I absolutely adore my little brother and am so proud of him for the man he is.  He is a wonderful provider and works hard to provide for his family.  He is cheerful and adorable and I think he's great.

I am sure we will have fun quoting movies, eating ourselves silly, and scratching belly.
I am so thankful for another Thanksgiving where we are free to celebrate and enjoy each other.

What are your plans?

Time out for...me

After the storm of pulling the girly out of public school, we decided that some relationship rescue may be necessary. Before the decision was even made, I had signed us up for this event...hoping that it could help.  I hoped it would be an answer to prayer.  And it was.  I am so thankful to have been at Time out for Women, hosted by Deseret book, with my daughter. 

I am so tired right now that I can certainly not do it any justice, but I just wanted to pour out my gratitude for this great event.  Wahooo!  As my Baptist friends used to say, "God is good!"

I will post my notes and personal insights on here soon.  I decided to change the name from Mad Madam Min to Daily Celebrations because I felt like it was more fitting to the task at hand.  Each day is, and should be a celebration.  Each day can be counted a great success, provided we learn a little, or draw a little closer to the Lord and to each other.  This day was an opportunity to do both of those things for a mommy and her daughter.

The most fabulous thing of all today was a surprise speaker.  They prefaced her talk by showing this video by Hillary Weeks:

The woman who spoke was Stephanie Nielsen.  There was not a dry eye in the city, I bet.  As soon as they said her name, people started to bust out the Kleenex.  My heart leapt for joy to be in the same room with someone I so admire and look up to, and I will never forget her message. 

Ok, I really need to get some rest, tomorrow is a busy day for this Marvelous me...but I can hardly wait to share the notes I took on our little retreat.
Toodles friends!

Great News! We're BACK!

Well...long story short...my girly is home.  She's back from the great and spacious building we more commonly refer to as "The Middle School."  Having survived this struggle, I am a better, more committed mother and home schooler.  I am more sure than ever that my duty as a home schooling mom is the greatest work I can perform right now.  I am also more convinced than ever that a Thomas Jefferson Education teaches the correct phases, key principles and methods.  I am so thankful for friends strong in this philosophy and for their many timely reminders and backup.  Also, my parents have been very supportive and gave me a lot of good advice.

Now, on to what we have been doing to unschool so we can homeschool.  (Yay!  The purpose of my blog may be realized after all!!!) 

We, (my wonderful pilot and I), have redoubled our efforts, we have rebooted, we have revised our plans, we have restarted our commitment and we have realized how truly important it is to work as a team. :)  (That was a lot of "re's".)

I believe that reading is the number one most important thing we can do.  That is, reading GREAT books so that my children (and I) come face to face with greatness.  We are almost finished with Little Britches.  This is a book I have read with my children a number of times.  This is probably about my 6th time through it.  And guess what!  It meets all of the requirements of a classic for me:  I learn something new every time I read it, I feel inspired to be and do a little better, and it teaches true principles that I can cross reference with my core book!

This time through, possibly due to my own parenting challenges of late, I am really appreciating the role of Father.  He is a true leader in his quiet, wise way.  And it seems his son, Ralph, the main character in the book, wants to do whatever he can to make Father happy.  Father is not the kind of parent that is so readily available in this day and age.  He does not give the slightest impression that it is ok to even bend the truth.  He insists time and again that if Ralph is to be his Partner (which is what Ralph wants more than life itself), then he must behave like a man.  His philosophies are that:

• you give an honest day's work for an honest day's pay.
• you save yourself a lot of trouble by going to face your problems than by trying to hide from them.
• it doesn't matter what color a man is, all that matters is whether he is honest or dishonest.
• God gave man everything he needs to thrive, but "He was careful to plan it so that it would only yield up its wealth in exchange for the labor of man"
• "whether it's cattle, or horses, or men; the least government is the best government"
• (this one is my favorite:)  "A man's character is like his house.  If he tears boards off his house and burns them to keep himself warm and comfortable, his house soon becomes a ruin.  If he tells lies to be able to do the things he shouldn't do but wants to, his character will soon become a ruin.  A man with a ruined character is a shame on the face of the earth."

The father in this book, Charles Moody, is a patient man whose core is rock solid.  He knows what is right and sticks right by it no matter what.  People respect him for it too.  His children and wife adore him and work right alongside him in everything he does because of who he is and how he treats them.  His faith is unshakable, his respect for Mother is complete, and his earnestness in parenting is the greatest example I have ever encountered. 

He never lectures Ralph, despite all the trouble Ralph gets himself into.  Instead, he quietly teaches him what is correct.  Only once does he react in anger, and that is when he finds that his little partner has been sneaking the chocolate bar.  Even when Ralphs younger brother is hurt due to Ralph getting distracted for a moment, he quietly handles the situation, and in once sentence, grounds Ralph and sends him home.  Ralph's reaction is to love him even more, and to try harder to please Father, rather than disappoint him.

The lessons we pull from this book stick with us a little more every time we read it.  We want to be more like Father.  We want to be better Cowpokes.  We remember to be honest in all we do and say.

The other day, my youngest boy went out and, following Ralphs example hopped on our old horse, Truckette.  He got some grass and fed it to her so she would lower her head enough for him to climb on, then he rode her around the yard for a while.  That's a pretty good thing for a boy to do on a lazy afternoon if you ask me.

So, our adventures in homeschool continue happily.  My goal is to write down my daily plan each night before I go to bed, so the next day's school can be organized and fulfilling for us all.  I will keep it fun and light and try not to lecture.  Perhaps I need to read Charles' philosophies through one more time.

Have you seen my box?

My original goal with this blog was to keep track of my homeschooling successes and challenges.  Well, that seems kind of a pointless endeavor now.  I mean, I am still "homeschooling" but I feel as if all of the wind is out of my sails now.  I don't know what to do.  I have to get out of this angry, frustrated, mad at "the world" funk before I can be an effective mother or homeschooler. 

So...

On a Happier Note....

I got a visit from some sweet ladies in my neighborhood today, wishing me a happy birthday.  "Oh yeah!!!" I thought...standing there in my pajamas at 11:30 in the morning, with dishpan hands and my knotty hair in a bun, "I should be celebrating!"  I was celebrating, I suppose, by locating my house under the piles of yuck and clods of ew.  Ta-daaaa!  It's a house again!  (I was starting to think it might never be recognizable as a house again.)

So, my post for today is about my happiest birthday.  (Well, the first one I think of due to it's recentness anyway, so no offense intended to my family who surely put in lots of effort every year around this time.)

Last year, I said good-bye to some very good friends in July.  These were people I saw on a daily basis.  We homeschooled our kids together, as kind of a co-op, but it was more than that.  We did EVERYTHING together.  And then they moved.  My heart was broken into smithereens, and I wondered how I would survive.  (I have though...see?  It's been over a year already.) 

On my birthday last year, a ginormous RV (named Rudy), rolled in, filled with Birthday wishers, a whole family of them.  I know they weren't here JUST for me, but they sure made me feel like they were.  And boy, was it ever good to see them.

We spent the day doing fun things like going to a craft show, where we ate a brownie for lunch.  That's birthday fare for sure! 

They showered me with gifts: my littlest friend, age 4 at the time, gave me some beautiful artwork and a gorgeous rose ring.  It lives in a place of honor, on my computer desk, even now.  I treasure it very much.  And another one of the children, my son's best friend, created some custom Aluminum Foil men for me, which I also treasure.  One is a bicycle rider, and the other is a bowman.  Both are wonderful miniatures, and they adorn my dining room in all of their silvery glory.  He also gave me a geode that he found, which I absolutely love.  It meant so much that he thought to share such a rare treasure with me!  There were more thoughtful gifts, I won't list them all, because that is not my focus, although they helped me to feel the true spirit of the moment.

What was that spirit?  A celebration of the day I came to be.  What a sacred celebration indeed.  As human beings, we don't often celebrate ourselves.  But we should.  We are sons and daughters of the most divine Being.  We are destined to be like Him.  He is the giver of birthdays!

Our days are so filled up with mundane tasks...we pay bills, we run errands, we work our bums off to survive, but we very rarely celebrate life.  We live it, but we don't celebrate it.  That is silly.  We should celebrate the sun rising, and the buds on the trees in Spring, and the leaves falling to the ground in Fall.  We should celebrate our autonomic nervous system, that allows us to breathe without thought.  We should celebrate grass between our toes, a wonderful book, a masterpiece of any kind. 

I celebrate chocolate regularly, but really......

My friends made an effort to make my birthday special last year.  Down to the last second of the day, when we shared dinner and laughed until our bellies cramped up.  I can't even express how much love I felt.  It wasn't the stuff they gave me, it was that they put the effort into thinking about what might make me feel special.  And, I guess, even though it wasn't about the stuff...every time I bake bread in my Amish Bread Pans, or slice a tomato with my cool silver knife, I remember my friends, and all of our cherished memories.

Thank you, friends, for celebrating me.  I miss you.

I seem to have misplaced my box

So, for months I have had this blog in my heart.  It is only just coming to fruition, and mostly only because I have suffered some level of personal trauma this past week, and I find myself desperate for an outlet of some sort.

Here is my rant this week.  Prepare yourself, it's a doozy.

I am plagued this week with the perspectives of other people.  I am tired of being made to look like a fool...like a person with poor mothering skills.  However, if your perspective is that public school is the only place that a person can gain an education, then it is very difficult to see the merits of one who chooses to homeschool.  It seems that I am one of the proverbial crabs in a bucket, and all of the other mothers around me find themselves very pleased that I have "finally" put my daughter in public school.  I feel very much like a crab pulled back into "my place."  But I have a bone to pick:

1) The premise behind government run schools is to create a mindless, brainless, uncreative society, in which freedom and even the desire for freedom is squashed and killed slowly.  The leaders of this country, for the last several generations do not want thinkers in their midst.  They want (and are creating) robots to follow their rules without questioning them.  Their motive is to control us.  Are they finding success at this endeavor?  You better believe it, baby.  Children in mainstream public schools are taught exactly what to think, they are kept in prison-like environments, they are denied the freedom to think and do.  And yet our society depends on them so heavily that a person who chooses to keep their children home for school is mocked and ridiculed to a certain extent.  Every conversation is riddled with accusing questions.  I can't even count the number of times I have had to defend my choice.

2) Which brings me to this point:  Is it not my right, as the mother of my children, to have the desire to keep them by my side?  Is it so alien to love their company?  How can that be wrong?  shame on those mothers who say they are glad when their kids go to school.  God sent them to YOU and only you to raise.  Not to teachers.  Not to school districts.  Not to churches...YOU. You have a responsibility to them.  You have a responsibility to GOD.  Do not abdicate your rights as a parent.  do not give it over to the state.  What do you really need to do that is more important than bringing your children up right?  It is not our job, moms, to make money, so stay home if you have the option.  It is the ultimate calling, challenge, happiness and love to give your whole self to your children.  And the world would be a better place if our children were schooled in life's many skills by those who loved them most.

3)  You know, back to the crab in a bucket idea:  my 12 year old daughter has been made to feel left out and invisible because she was not public schooled.  In her mind now, in order to fit in you must conform, and it is what she wants to do more than anything in the world.  She has been alienated, ignored and has not felt as welcome as she should.  Is this how we really want our society to be?  Do we shun those who are not like us?  What if she was missing a limb?  Or what if she couldn't hear?  Do we then find justification to leave her out?  Where are the kind of youth I read and hear about who sacrifice their imagined social standing to take in a friend who is wheelchair ridden or can not speak for themselves?  Are we lacking youth who will create bridges of love and communication?  Are prom night and fake fingernails all that really matters?  How shallow have we become as a people?

4)  That being said, I realize that her perspective is what matters in this case, as well.  She believes that happiness will come at public school because all of her peers, in their limited perspectives, insist that, "OMG!  School is so fun!  The guys are so HOT!  My butt looks so cute in these jeans! LOL.  TTYL!"  She is poisoned by the society that surrounds her.  She longs for acceptance into a cult of vapid, boy-crazy adolescents. The media, the girls in her world, even some of her family members have made her feel like she is missing out on something essential to her upbringing...but in reality:  are teenage girls really who she needs to be around as she forms her self-image?  Is that really the best society for her?  In my experience, girls at ages 12, 13 and 14 are cruel, self-centered, very crab-like.  They rarely want to help each other feel good or succeed at anything.  They are scarcity minded, and not very likely to remind her that she is a precious Daughter of God.  Rather, she will find herself slinging mud, feeling fatter than so and so, or uglier than whats-her-name.  She will be depressed if her shoes are not name brand or if she doesn't get asked on a date when her "friend" does.  Being a female adolescent is a loveless, thankless station.  It seems dangerous to me to entrust her with others who suffer from the same challenges as she will be.  Alas, I believe in her freedom to choose, and I must practice that which I preach.

5)  What would the world be like if homeschoolers were respected for their choice, and people who sent their kids to the public schools were likewise able to do what they believed was right?  I have worked long and hard, fighting tooth and nail every step of the way to do what I thought my family needed.  I have had to defend myself against family, friends, the state, and society in general.  But I have news for you:  Jesus was homeschooled.